HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

  1. Take clothes off and leave them in a pile on the floor.
  2. Walk naked to the bathroom.
  3. Look in the mirror, sucking in your gut and comment on how studly you are.
  4. Get in the shower. No need to look for a washcloth. You never use one anyway.
  5. Wash your armpits, then your face.
  6. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
  7. Wash your private parts. Make sure to leave hairs on the soap.
  8. Shampoo your hair. Make a shampoo mohawk. Pull back the shower curtain and check yourself out in the mirror.
  9. Pee in the shower.
  10. Partially dry off. Flex your muscles in the mirror.
  11. Return to the bedroom with the towel around your waist.
  12. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed.